Home on the Horizon

Every week at the hospital on a designated day, my husband’s team would meet.  This included his doctor, his nurse, the speech therapist, the occupational therapist, the physical therapist, the social worker and me.  We all squeezed into one little room and everyone would give their opinion as to how my husband was progressing for a designated period of 20 minutes.  They would go around the table and everyone would have their say.  It was in these meetings that I think the group, especially his nurse, finally came to respect me. 

Tim was relearning how to do everything.  I was learning how to get him there!  At these meetings we went over his whole plan of care and then they taught me how to put everything we talked about to use.  I am a quick learner.  Even if I wasn’t, I had to be now.  We were getting close to having Tim come home.  He couldn’t come home until they were sure I could care for him.  So I made sure I knew how.  I know all these people had many years of schooling in their professions.  I felt like I got the crash course! 

Everything we do we learned when we were young.  You learned how to put your clothes on, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth and comb your hair.  Piece of cake when you are a kid.  Not so, when you are an adult, who is now one handed and cannot bend forward to put on your shoes, let alone tie them.  My husband was not proud.  We worked as a team.  We do the same even today.

The quicker we got it down, the faster his time was to coming home.  At this point we were 2 weeks away!  After the weekly meeting, it was decided that he would be allowed to have a pass to come home on the weekend for 1 day to see how it would go. As it happened, my middle son was graduating from college.  The graduation ceremony was to be at the UIC Pavilion in Chicago.  We decided that since my in laws had a larger car and were better familiar with the area, they would drive.  The graduation was wonderful.  However, we did not realize that there would be literally thousands of people there.  Not so good for someone recovering from a TBI amongst other things.  Well, my husband was a trooper.  He really wanted to see our son graduate.  So the minute he walked across that stage and got his diploma, that was it, we were out of there!  He was able to come home for a while and then I had to have him back to the hospital. 

The nurses always used to wonder why they never heard my husband ever ask to go home the whole time he was on the rehab unit.  It was because he could not remember what or where his home was.  After this little excursion, he wanted to go home more than anything.  He still had to stay in the hospital for a little while more.  But the following weekend, he got another chance to come home for several hours again on Sunday.  This was a much more peaceful trip.  The drive home was like going down memory lane for him.  Bits and pieces of memories were popping into his brain as we drove.  This was the final test.  It went so well that once I took him back to the hospital, we started to make the final preparations for his release.

Continued excerpts from the SICU....

2/19/06

Tim and family,

I stopped by to see how you were doing.  I was on the call on the 15th and everyone on the fire department is concerned for you.  It is nice to see that you are stable and doing as well as can be expected.  You are in our thoughts and prayers and we hope you have a quick recovery.   M.R.

Good morning Tim,

I've been here since around 8 am but am only now writing something because I don't know what to say, really.  You know what?   I still don't know what I should write, at least I haven't anything profound to say and I guess I wish I did....

I feel numb inside and probably will until you finally walk out of here and you will walk out of here, of that I have no doubt!  

You were the first officer I rode with when I was first hired and before I went to the academy.  I know you won't remember, but I never will forget.  It was in May, 1989, evening shift and it was a beautiful day, sunny and warm.  I was extremely nervous and tried to converse with you, but ended up only talking to myself because you weren't talkative at all.  I think you said two words (max!) to me all night!

Knowing what I know now, you were ticked being forced to drive around some rookie (who wasn't even a rookie yet!) and  that is a very disruptive thing to have to happen to us!  We like our privacy and our routine!

Anyway, the first thing we did was check your businesses along NW Highway.  I think to shut me up you made a traffic stop behind the bowling alley.  I was like "this is so awesome!"  But you made me stay in the squad.  You were even more crabby after that!  Ha ha ha...In fact you dropped me off at the station a short time after that.  Ha ha ha...
Believe it or not I have always looked up to you since this first meeting.  You have always been the cop and the person I wish I could be more like.  You've always been there for me when I needed help and you've never spoken ill of me my entire time at the PD.  (And as you know, that is a rare quality to be found in anyone in this business!)  You're a good person and thank you.  I'm praying hard for  you and your family.  God Bless!  T.K.

More Reflections...continued 2/19/06

Say Tim,
Most of our shift stopped by this morning and met your wonderful family.  I was especially honored since I've heard so much about them from you, but I never had the pleasure of meeting them.  Maryann is such a positive lady and managed to laughingly share stories about you even through these difficult times.  I hope you regain your ability to come to work soon as I know you will.  The 1102 beat is not the same anymore since you've been away on your forced vacation.  It was good knowing you would always be working that beat especially since we are on the same RDO's.  I just want to let you know that my family holds you and yours in our prayers.  A speedy recovery to you my friend and God Bless!  Beat 1100, B.U.

Tim,
Stopped  by today with the rest of midnights.  I know you are worried about all the kids hanging out at the Wendy's on Rand Road.  Don't..... I'll take care of it.  I know you are a closet NASCAR fan, so I'll be sure to save the newspaper clippings so you will know who won the Daytona 500 today.  Just remember NASCAR fans don't try to crash their cars on purpose.  Get better soon.  I don't think we can keep the north side under control with out ya!  J.B.

Tim,
Just want you to know that I miss having you behind me every night in roll call.  The Cubs are starting up now so get excited! (Ha ha ha)  My family is here for you and are praying for your family. R.C.

Hi Tim,
Yeah, what they all said!  Just wanted you to know you're in the thoughts and prayers of me and my family.  I just got back to mids, and after 2 days, I miss having you on our shift.  You are a "glue" guy.  The kind that holds a shift together.  I hope you recover quickly and fully.  I know after 20 + years, it might be tempting to just run out the clock, but we want you back shifted up with us.  J.S.

Hey Tim,
Well it's been several days now and the news is you're doing remarkably better.  They attribute that to the incredible shape you are in.  I have stopped by a couple times and sat with your family.  You have wonderful children.  We have been talking with them about school and they are incredibly smart.  You and Maryann should be very proud.  The men and women who love you keep on stopping by.  The foot traffic never stops.  They keep on coming and praying and bringing donuts and bagels.
The PD has been busy.  This last half week we have had several major incidents occur.  They announced the new commanders and unofficially, where they are all being transfered to.  I worked a double yesterday.  The phone never stops ringing on day shift.  Almost every call was inquiring about you and wishing you well and offering to help in anyway.  Politicians, cops, citizens, firemen, PW people, business owners and many more call everyday.  Everyone wants to "circle the wagons" around you and your family.  It's truly amazing how many people know you and those that don't still offer prayers and help.
You are going to have to pick out a new favorite squad car. Yours is broke and beyond repair (by a little).  I know  you liked the old computer too and rumor has it CIB is going to be experimenting with new squad laptops.  I hope they work.  We are keeping your beat covered for you too.  The guys want to work in it while you're gone.  It's like an honor to them.
The weather has been Siberian like.  It was -11 on the bank clock at 3 AM on the 18th.  Wind chill was -37.  It's cold out.  The White Sox are making some changes.  Too many to list here.  The South Side World Champs will be starting spring training soon.  Go White Sox!  I think you'll be waking up soon to watch the games.  Sleep and rest well.  We are willing to help and do whatever it takes to get you home soon.  M.K.

This was 4 days after my husband's crash and people keep streaming in and talking and writing.  It's funny how much you learn about someone you have lived with for so long by getting a glimpse into his other life.  The life he went to on the job every night, working with the men and women on his department.  As my husband lay in a coma fighting for his life, we all got to see a whole different side of him.  It was pretty amazing!  To be continued tomorrow.

More Reflections...continued 2/18/06

Tim,

It's you old midnight pal from long ago.  Remember those days?  Well pal, I'm thinking about you and we have you in our prayers.  I will be here if you need anything.  I remember when I was in the hospital and I thought something was really wrong.  A lot of goofy thoughts go through your head, but every day, even the tough ones is one day better.  You will be through this an never look back pal.  Every day is better than the previous.  Take care Tim.  When you feel better, call me if and when your bored.  I'll get you laughing a little.  Take care until then Tim.  M.M.

Tim,

I have been thinking about you ever since I heard about your crash.  You have been in my prayers.  I know being in a hospital is a real bummer.  I hope you get out of there as soon as possible and get back home.  If you need something or just want to talk, feel free to give me a call.  Get well and home soon. C.K.

Hey Tim,

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm here with your family.  You are steadily improving and things are looking good.  This is still unbelievable.  We are thinking about you and your family.  It seems like I was just standing by the back door watching you walk in after your shift and I was getting ready to start mine.  You never know when something can go wrong.  I hope to see you out running again soon and I hope you're ready to turn fifty.  All the people turning fifty this year are thinking about having a party and you better be there!  I'm praying for your to get better soon. J.K.

Partner...

Spent part of Thursday evening here with Maryann, Katie and your brother.  Hadn't seen your brother since our "bureau days".  We laughed about many of those times and I told them that the first thing I'm going to do when you wake up is hand you an apple.  Figure it's about time you got even!  

We also laughed when I told Katie that you would read her "the riot act" if you knew she was missing school. 

All kidding aside, you cannot imagine all the prayers and thoughts that are with you.  We sit here patiently, but anxiously waiting for each and every word of encouragement from your doctors.  Hang tough my fiend.  I know that as stubborn (yeah you!) as you are, you will battle through this.  I look forward to hearing your open minded views of the state of our society and all the good "Democrats" in this world.

God bless you my friend.  Stay strong and don't every stop fighting.  You're the best!  Your partner, R.K.

Tim,

I hope when your're reading this, you are feeling much better and well on you're way to a complete recovery.  I know we started the same time, but we really don't need to experience "everything" together.  My hope and my prayers are that you will recover even better than me and really learn to understand what I meant by "It's a Wonderful Life".  You will get to see just how many people love you and care about your and that is truly a "gift" that will come from this experience.  I hope you and your family know that I am here for you to help in any way I can.  You have always been a good friend, especially during my time of need and I am here for you if you need anything.  God Bless You!  C.T.  

Tim,

It's tough for me to write on the back of the page since as will remember, I need my paper sideways.  

I have been on the phone more during the last 3 days than a teenager.  I'm doing my best to keep the band informed and encouraged about your progress.  There's definitely a lot of support and prayers from all  your Irish pals.  There has already been discussion about Cleveland this year.  Since I'm not a doctor I can't say if you will be able to travel by then.  But speaking of Cleveland, I got a very strange call yesterday.  It was an inquiry if you were actually driving a car assigned to you... followed by "keeping an eye out for you in Cleveland."  Ha ha ha!  I hope your recover and can play your own side jobs!  I'll do my best to fill your shoes...OK I won't play, but I will find someone suitable.  I will keep you in my prayers until you ask, "Why the hell are you doing that?"  S.M.

To be continued....