The ER

Have you ever felt like you have just been sucked into a black hole?  What did the person on the phone just say and who was ringing my doorbell?  I was suddenly in a state of utter confusion.  My husband was just in a car crash.  The man who drives so slowly, it takes twice as long to go from point A to point B than it normally should.  The man who will not even start the car until everyone in it buckles his seatbelt.  The man who is the best darn back seat driver in the world, in a car crash, come again? 

Well I hung up the phone and the officer at the door came in and said that my husband had indeed been in a car crash and the paramedics were taking him to the hospital.  He told me I had better hurry, because we had to go.  “Is there anyone home?”  (Oh come on brain, think….)  Yes, my daughter is home, asleep.  I ran upstairs and woke her up and told her that her dad had been in an accident and that I was going to the hospital.  I did not know what his condition was, but the officer said that he was OK.   Did she want to go with me or stay home?  She had school in the morning, so she said that she would stay home.  I called my in laws and told them my husband had been in an accident and I had to go to the hospital, but would they come to the house to stay with my daughter. No problem.  I also called one of my brothers in law and left a message.  (I only had one of their cell phone numbers on hand.)  I grabbed a few things, in a bag, kissed my daughter good night and flew out the door with the officer who had assured me that my husband was fine.  I thought that he would have a few broken bones, a bit banged up, but he would be fine.  The officer said so. 

There was lots of small talk on the way to the hospital.  This officer never wavered.  He was calm, cool & collected and he swore as God as his witness, that my husband would be fine.  We just drove very fast and there was hardly any traffic.  Was it my imagination, no it was very late on a Wednesday night.  How much traffic could there be.  (I later learned that we were not too far behind the ambulance and that they had stopped all traffic.) 

We arrived at the hospital and the officer that had driven me there practically dragged me out of the car and through the parking lot and into the ER.  I could not imagine why we were in such a hurry to get to someone who just had a few broken bones.  He was in the hospital, they told me he was conscious and I was just promised by the officer, as God as his witness, that he was OK.  He was pulling me through the ER announcing to several people that I was the injured officer’s wife.  Faster and faster we moved through the waiting room, doors flew open, past several cubicles, around a corner and boom, there he was in this room.  For the second time in less than an hour, time stopped.  There is nothing in this world or any other for that matter, which could have ever prepared me for what I saw in that room.  It is in delved in my head forever.  Who is this person in this room?  That is not my husband, is it?  My husband only has a few bumps and bruises, right?  Here in this room is a man surrounded by so many people, so many machines, so many tubes and so much blood.  He is not awake, he is not fine.  Oh my God, he is not fine.  As I stood there, an outward pinnacle of calmness, inside my head was whirling.

And at that point, I felt so alone and helpless.  All I could think was try to pay attention to what the doctors are telling you.  You have to pay attention.  They are telling you that they are taking him for a cat scan. They are saying he needs surgery, but they are not sure which surgery he needs first.  He has a massive head injury, his blood pressure is dropping, he has many broken bones, please wait outside the room a moment.  I stood there like a little lost waif, waiting for news of what would happen next.  Then I heard someone say a brother was here.  I turned and have never been so happy to see a familiar face in my life.  My husband’s younger brother had appeared.  Together we were able to put together what had happened.  My husband had been stopped at a red light.  The light had just turned green and he proceeded into the intersection.  A drunk driver coming from the opposite direction crossed over the center lane of traffic and hit his squad car head on at a speed estimated to be more than 65 miles an hour. Thankfully, my husband was only going approximately 22 miles an hour.  More than that and he would have never made it to the hospital. 

The trauma team arrived back to the room with my husband.  They had discovered he had an aortic dissection (a lacerated thoracic aorta).  This is why his blood pressure was dropping.  They had decided that they would do surgery on his head injury first and a neurosurgeon would come to talk to us.  When that surgery was over, they would proceed to repair the heart.  Broken bones are last, they need to take care of life threatening injuries first.  That was it, they told me to kiss him good bye.  I stood for a moment looking at him and thought where can I kiss him good bye.  I could not even get close to any part of his body that wasn’t covered either in bandages, tubes, or machines. I slipped my hand to his for a quick squeeze and they whisked him out of the room.  This began the longest night, the first of many.